Cindy Prascik's Reviews of A Walk in the Woods & The Transporter Refueled

Dearest Blog, being on my deathbed last weekend, I missed out on my weekly trip to the cinema.

Hollywood very thoughtfully released only crap this weekend to give me a chance to catch up.

Thanks, Hollywood!

First on my agenda: A Walk in the Woods.

Two older men attempt to hike the Appalachian Trail.

If you take Wild, subtract annoying women who say things like, "I've never been in the driver's seat of my own life!" and add two pretty cool old dudes, you've got A Walk in the Woods. It's not normally the kind of picture I'd need to see on a big screen, but the lure of Robert Redford is strong. He shares excellent camaraderie with co-star Nick Nolte, and their banter is mostly good fun. There are a couple moments where the writing seems a bit awkward, and the movie runs maybe just a hair too long, but otherwise the men's adventure is both funny and uplifting.

A Walk in the Woods runs 104 minutes and is rated R for "language and some sexual references."

Despite its cast's pedigree, this film isn't likely to scare up any awards attention, but throw in some lovely scenery and a bit of screen time for the wonderful Emma Thompson, and it's still an entertaining couple hours.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, A Walk in the Woods gets six.

Next up: The Transporter Refueled.


Cars, cars, chicks, cars, cars, cars, fight scene, cars, fight scene, chicks, cars, cars, cars.

Disclaimer: I missed maybe the first five minutes of The Transporter Refueled. A lousy schedule left me the choice of slightly too little time between shows, or two hours between shows, and, frankly, I didn't care enough about either of these movies to waste two extra hours. I'm telling myself there was something in those first five minutes to keep this from being the worst movie ever made, but I don't think I believe myself.

The thing about the Transporter movies is: they're silly. Of course they're silly. But when you've got the right person at the fore (*cough* Statham *cough*) they're enough fun that you don't mind so much. The Transporter Refueled is absolutely no fun, and you'll mind the hell out of every minute.

The delightful Ray Stevenson is sadly wasted, and the everyone else is just a collection of the worst teeth you've ever seen. It's like the filmmakers went out of their way to find actors who never met a dentist. I had the room to myself for this one (shocking) and I confess I was bored enough to take a peek or two at my phone.

The Transporter Refueled clocks in at a mercifully short 96 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sequences of violence and action, sexual material, some language, a drug reference, and thematic elements."

Do not, under any circumstances, waste your money on this.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Transporter Refueled gets one.

Until next time...

 Still dreamy! <3 br="">

MOVIE REVIEW: NO ESCAPE

An intense international thriller, NO ESCAPE centers on an American businessman (Wilson) as he and his family settle into their new home in Southeast Asia. Suddenly finding themselves in the middle of a violent political uprising, they must frantically look for a safe escape as rebels mercilessly attack the city. Directed by John Erick Dowdle and written together with his brother Drew, NO ESCAPE stars Owen Wilson, Pierce Brosnan and Lake Bell.

Director: John E. Dowdle 

Cast: Owen Wilson, Pierce Brosnan, Lake Bell, Sterling Jerins.

Release Date: Aug 26, 2015

Rated: R for strong Violence Throughout, and For Language

Runtime: 1 hr. 41 min.

Genres: Suspense/Thriller

Review:

John E. Dowdle’s No Escape feels like a mash up of The Purge: Anarchy, The Warrior and Hostel.  It’s a tense mess of a film that really hits all the worse clichés of the dangers abroad genre.  Dowdle’s direction is fairly strong as he ratchets up the tension to insane levels particularly during the first half of the film.  Sadly, there’s little to no characterization of any of the characters and only the thinnest and cheapest of explanation about the coup that sets off the action.  Pierce Brosnan appears disappears, reappears and disappears for good from the movie remaining the most interesting character in the whole production.   Owen Wilson and Lake Bell deliver solid work hitting all the panicked notes you can think of.  They’re continually frazzled and on edge but seemingly have time for some family discussions regardless of whatever is going on.  There’s logical plot holes left and right even as the film beats its message over your head with it literally spelled out for you.  And then, just like that, it’s over since the escape route was conveniently close and far enough to keep the film rolling.  

C+

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of American Ultra & Hitman: Agent 47

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to the pictures for a pair of shoot-em-up flicks, American Ultra and Hitman: Agent 47.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

This week's first kudos go not to either movie, but to the schedule maker(s) at Marquee Cinemas, who receive a full nine Weasleys for two 90-minute films with 30 minutes in between. Perfection!

First up on that ideal schedule: American Ultra.

All is not as it seems with a pair of stoners in a (made-up) little West Virginia town.
American Ultra is one of those movies that has the potential to be accidentally awesome. It doesn't look like anything special, but all the pieces are there so it *could* be, you know? It isn't quite awesome, but it's still pretty solid.

Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart share an awkward chemistry that serves them well as a couple pretty awkward people. Eisenberg moves effortlessly from mellow to panicked to deadpan to badass, always believable and sympathetic.

Stewart is often accused of being expressionless, but she's solid here as well. The supporting cast is uniformly decent, for as much as they need to be (what a waste of Bill Pullman!), but basically, if you don't like Eisenberg and/or Stewart, that's going to be an almost insurmountable hurdle with this movie. American Ultra has plenty of twists and turns, with fast, brutal, bloody action, and a dry wit that holds it all together.

American Ultra clocks in at 95 minutes and is rated R for "strong bloody violence, language throughout, drug use, and some sexual content."

American Ultra is missing that *something* that would have made it exceptional, but I still found it smart, exciting, and entertaining.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, American Ultra gets six and a half.

Next on the agenda, Hitman: Agent 47.

A woman reluctantly teams with a super assassin to unravel the mysteries of her past.

Dear reader(s), there's no sugar-coating it: Agent 47 is a real snooze-fest, and, if not for my mad crush on Zachary Quinto, I might have nodded off. There's not a hint of genuine emotion or excitement to be found anywhere in Agent 47. Nicely-designed stunts are blandly executed, and the leads are as dry as my lawn invariably is 'round about this time of the year. Hannah Ware has all the expression of the freshly-Botoxed, and Rupert Friend looks like a perpetually-annoyed Orlando Bloom. Ciaran Hinds gets the job done, but he doesn't turn up until it's far too late to salvage anything. It's quite a feat for a movie this short to wear out its welcome, but that seems to be the one area where Hitman: Agent 47 actually succeeds.

Hitman: Agent 47 runs 96 minutes and is rated R for "sequences of strong violence, and some language."

Agent 47 is so dull I was hardly even annoyed when the guy next to me played on his iPad the whole time.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hitman: Agent 47 gets two.

Until next time...

Curiously, this is also how my homecooked Sunday dinners usually turn out!

MOVIE REVIEW: STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON

Entrenched in the racial tumult of Los Angeles in the mid-1980's, a group of aspiring rappers banded together to revolutionize the global consumption of hip-hop and popular culture. NWA was born out of racial frustration and the disadvantaged economics of their South Central neighborhood. F. Gary Gray directs this biopic about the rise to stardom for the act that earned the moniker of "The World's Most Dangerous Group", featuring Ice Cube's son O'Shea Jackson Jr. playing the role of his father, Corey Hawkins as Dr. Dre, and Jason Mitchell as the late Eazy-E. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi

Director: F. Gary Gray

Cast: Corey Antonio Hawkins, O'shea Jackson, Jr., Jason Mitchell, Aldis Hodge, Neil Brown, Jr.

Release Date: Aug 14, 2015

Rated: R Language Throughout, Drug Use, Strong Sexuality/Nudity and Violence

Runtime: 2 hr. 27 min.

Genres: Drama

Review:

F. Gary Gray’s Straight Outta Compton is a thoroughly engaging if imperfect musical biopic.  It hits all the standard notes for this type of film with some of the moments coming off as manufactured or inauthentic.  It’s not a massive flaw but noticeable.  Thankfully an impressive ensemble cast carries the film with strong performances throughout with O’Shea Jackson Jr. making the biggest mark for his uncanny impression of his father.  Paul Giamatti is saddled with the role of the shady business manager and manages to give the role a bit more depth than expected.  The story itself might be familiar to some and totally foreign to others.  Either way it’s an interesting story that’ll keep you engaged as we watch the rise of gangster rap and its evolution.  The problem the film faces is that there are so many storylines that it does occasionally feel unfocused.  In the final act, Gary doesn’t quite seem to know where to end the story as we proceed through a travelogue of the 90’s.  It would have benefited from some trimming to make it a more efficient film.  That being said Straight Outta Compton is a strong film that feels terribly timely as well.

B