Cindy Prascik's 2015: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!

Dearest Blog: I suppose it wouldn't be the New Year if I didn't weigh in--alongside, you know, everyone else in the world--with my thoughts on the best and worst of the year just ended. So, without further ado: my top ten pictures of 2015, along with a few also-rans, and, of course, the bottom of the barrel! 

 

10. "Desperate times. Desperate measures." Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation The year's best thrill ride, with an action sequence for the ages, Rogue Nation is about the most fun you could expect to have at the movies. 

 

9. "I know you're probably feeling a lot of emotion right now, but please refrain from using the term 'thunderc**t!'" Spy Melissa McCarthy may be locked into a certain kind of character, but when a movie's this laugh-out-loud hilarious from start to finish, it's hard to argue with the formula. Throw in the year's funniest turn from Jason Statham, and Spy is easily 2015's best comedy. 

 

8. "Sports were, in a way, a kind of warfare." Red Army At a time when it's difficult to imagine the NHL without its Ovechkins and its Malkins, this documentary presents a compelling look at the Cold War glory days of the Soviet hockey machine, and the first Russian players to break into the National Hockey League. 

 

7. "Grizzly? Not particularly. Mind you, I haven't seen him in the mornings!" Paddington England's favorite bear tries to find himself a home in this joyful romp, a delight for all ages. 

 

6. "Chewie, we're home." Star Wars: The Force Awakens Advertising often makes bloated claims, but Star Wars: The Force Awakens truly is the movie event of a generation. This superb sequel met or exceeded nearly everyone's expectations, and has effectively redefined the word "blockbuster." 

 

5. "This man is obviously crazy." The Walk An achievement in both technical wizardry and great storytelling, the Walk is, at its heart, a love letter to the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. A terrific narrative and a charming leading performance by Joseph Gordon-Levitt make this one of the year's best. 

 

4. "Speak a little truth, and people lose their minds." Straight Outta Compton Straight Outta Compton is a well written, brilliantly acted biopic of rap pioneers NWA that will leave you feeling like you can take on the world, one of my very favorite cinema experiences of 2015. 

 

3. "Musicians play their instruments. I play the orchestra." Steve Jobs A brilliant but incomplete portrait of the legendary founder of Apple, Steve Jobs features whiplash-inducing exchanges, penned by Aaron Sorkin and smartly delivered by Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet, and an exemplary supporting cast. It is the very definition of "must see." 

 

2. "I've been fighting my whole life. It's not a choice for me." Creed Full of heart and peppered with hold-your-breath fight sequences, Creed is the sequel Rocky has always deserved. Michael B. Jordan admirably carries the leading mantle, and Sylvester Stallone delivers one of the year's best performances in a role that he could just as easily mail in by now. You'll want to see this one more than once, I guarantee it. 

 

1. "So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam." Kingsman: The Secret Service Kingsman: The Secret Service is a perfect movie. It's action packed, smart, and funny, with a great cast, a handful of fantastic twists, and what just might be the greatest single scene ever to grace the big screen. Released all the way back in February, in the ten months that followed, it never faced a serious challenge for my top spot. Side notes: I have yet to gain access to Macbeth and Spotlight, two films that undoubtedly would be on this list (probably very near the top) had I seen them. 

 

Runners-Up: The Peanuts Movie. My sentimental favorite of the year. Spectre. Bond gave MI5 a good run for its money for that number-ten spot. I'd have liked a second go at both for a fresher perspective, but that didn't happen. And, yes...Pixels. Go on and roll your eyes, I see you! Pixels' worst crime was having Adam Sandler at the helm, so many decided it was terrible even before seeing it, but its effects were stunning and its pop-culture nods fun and funny. Critics be damned, if you're within ten years of my age either way, I promise you'll get a kick out of it. 

 

And, drumroll, please! 

 

My least favorites/biggest disappointments of 2015: 

 

Jupiter Ascending. Hot off an Oscar win and probably on his way to another, Eddie Redmayne turned in one of the most perplexingly awful performances of the year, in a picture that features a chase scene so long and boring I fell asleep three times and woke up while it was still going. An unmitigated disaster.  

Chappie. Two of my favorite people who make movies--Neil Blomkamp and Sharlto Copley--somehow managed to make the most irritating film of the year. Pan. A cluster of epic proportions, and a shameful waste of the multi-talented Hugh Jackman. 

 

Finally, ever shall it rank among my greatest regrets of 2015 that two of my very favorite actors--Johnny Depp and Jake Gyllenhaal--both turned in extraordinary performances in a year when the leading actor categories are just too stacked to offer them proper accolades. 

 

Kudos to Johnny and Jake for two of the year's most mesmerizing turns. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to have a look at this blog over the past 12 months, and especially to my blog partner, Daniel, for all his hard work in getting our Very Important Writings out there. Remember, kids: everyone's entitled to our opinions! 

 

Happy 2016 to one and all! Until next time... 

 

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Jupiter Ascending & Paddington

Dearest Blog, with no Hobbit and nary a single decent-looking new release, there was really nothing to draw me to the cinema this weekend aside from the fact that I couldn't imagine sitting out two weekends in a row. Since I also lacked the wherewithal to sit through two stinkers in a row, I paired one of the weekend newbies with my sadly-neglected Paddington.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First on my agenda, the comically horrible Jupiter Ascending.

Mila Kunis stars as a seemingly-normal Earthling whose life is endangered when she discovers she's universal royalty.

Dear reader(s), I shan't insult your intelligence by trying to tell you Jupiter Ascending isn't a mess; in fact, it is the cinema equivalent of your family room after the Super Bowl party, the Mall on Black Friday, Morgantown after a big game. I spent a good portion of the movie trying to determine whether the acting is literally the worst in history, or if the dialogue is just so poorly written there was nothing the actors could do with it.

Come next week he'll likely be an Oscar winner, but Eddie Redmayne is an embarrassment, a strangely-sweaty version of Gary Oldman's most over-the-top mid-90s baddie. I adore Sean Bean and Mila Kunis, but I hope they both fired their agents for getting them into this! Curious that a guylinered Channing Tatum, hardly the most respected name among the cast, was pretty much the only one who didn't make me cringe.

The story is a jumbled disaster that sometimes drags worse than the slowest David Cronenberg slog. A chase scene at the beginning is so long and repetitive that I fell asleep twice and woke up while it was still going. Having said all that, Jupiter Ascending is still oddly entertaining at times.

The sets and effects aren't anything special, but they are often very pretty, as are some of the costumes. There are plenty of funny moments--intentional and not--and (at risk of sounding girly) Kunis and Tatum make an adorable couple; it's not hard to root for them.

Jupiter Ascending clocks in at 127 minutes and is rated PG13 for "some violence, sequences of sci-fi action, some suggestive content, and partial nudity."

Bad as it is, I didn't hate it. How's that for backhanded praise? Of a possible nine Weasleys, Jupiter Ascending gets four and a half.

Next up was Paddington.

A young bear from "darkest Peru" comes to London looking for a home.

I admit, for a movie about which I'd been pretty excited, I've been shamefully neglectful of Paddington.

Its schedule never seemed to work with other movies I wanted to see, and, after a couple weeks, I'd sort of resigned myself to waiting for DVD. I am so glad I didn't! My first thought upon seeing a Paddington trailer was, "Please don't mess this up." When Colin Firth jumped ship (to be replaced by my beloved Ben Whishaw) and the US release was pushed from a perfect holiday date to mid-January No Man's Land, I couldn't help but expect the worst. I am pleased to report that, whatever the reasons for those bumps in the road, Paddington is a pretty perfect movie.

The story is sweet, but never sugarey. The cast is top-notch, and Whishaw couldn't be more perfect as the voice of our beloved bear. There are many great laughs, for kids and adults alike, with enough action to keep things moving along at a good clip.

Finally, the movie manages to bring home an important message without beating viewers over the head with it.

Paddington runs 95 minutes and is rated PG for "mild action and rude humor."

Paddington is perfect for folks of any age, a genuinely terrific afternoon at the movies.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Paddington gets eight.

Until next time...

 
Well, there's always this...

MOVIE REVIEW: JUPITER ASCENDING

Mila Kunis stars as Jupiter Jones, an everyday girl in the future whose life takes an unexpected turn when an ex-soldier (Channing Tatum) comes looking for her in hopes that she can live up to her destiny as the savior of the universe. Andy and Lana Wachowski once again dip their feet into sci-fi territory with this sprawling Warner Bros. epic. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Andy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski

Cast: Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth.

Release Date: Feb 06, 2015

Rated PG-13 for some Violence, Sequences of Sci-fi Action, Some Suggestive Content and Partial Nudity 

Runtime: 2 hr. 5 min. 

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy 

Review:

Hybrid Wolf space hunter with space rollerblades.  If you can wrap your head around Channing Tatum’s character alone then you might find something to like in the Wachowski’s nearly incoherent and utterly ridiculous Jupiter Ascending.  The story is absurdly outlandish even though it feels incredibly familiar as well.  Thankfully the Wachowski’s bring this usual visual flair to the proceedings making for some truly impressive action sequences that keep you entertained once you’ve decided to turn your brain off completely.  If you accept Eddie Redmayne, acting with combustible collagen fueled lips, as a mad despot then you might find some enjoyment in the silliness.  Mila Kunis is ok as the titular Jupiter but she looks just as confused as we are, as a result she played her character like a gullible moron who’s only happy with her space hunter wolf hybrid and his space rollerblades.

C