Cindy Prascik’s Reviews of Byzantium / Coffee Town

Dearest Blog, being from a small town, my cinema choices are generally limited to whatever blockbusters are showing at the local multiplex.

However, my cable company has, of late, started making smaller films available via pay-per-view during their theatrical runs, an offer I can't refuse!

This week I was fortunate to see two indie flicks: Byzantium and Coffee Town.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the...wait, who am I kidding? I've never seen a trailer for either of these. Let's leave it with "I'll try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible."

First up, I utilized a nice midweek day off to catch the thriller Byzantium.

Two mysterious women, on the run for their lives and harboring a dark secret, take up residence in a British coastal town.

I don't think it's giving too much away to state up front that Byzantium is a vampire movie. Even knowing next to nothing about it, I knew that.

There is a bit of build up, but it's not a secret the film attempts to keep for long. With its foundation of these two women in hiding and making a living however they can, Byzantium feels more grounded than your average supernatural thriller, and solid performances by stars Gemma Arterton and Saoirse Ronan accentuate the movie's tense, gritty atmosphere. Though Ronan and her male counterpart, played by Caleb Landry Jones, are both very young, thankfully there is no Twilightey feel to this movie; it's written and played well enough to be taken seriously. The film doesn't look quite as goth as I expected (again, admitting I knew little about it beforehand), but it sustains a cool, dark vibe throughout and builds to an ending I did not anticipate. For horror fans, I'd call the gore-level moderate, with much of the carnage implied rather than shown.

It's also worth noting that the always smokin' Arterton has dialed up the hotness to eleven for this picture.

Byzantium clocks in at 118 minutes and is rated R for "bloody violence, sexual content, and language."

As a longtime fan of vampires and vampire movies, I'm waiting for a new one to come along that's good enough (and popular enough) that
people stop thinking "Edward Cullen" when someone says "fangs." Byzantium isn't quite that, but it's a good step in the right direction.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Byzantium gets six and a half.

Last night, we found ourselves at loose ends (meaning all the Harry Potter movies that were on had ended by 9:30), so we took advantage of another XFinity On Demand offering, Coffee Town.

Much to the dismay of the store manager, a webmaster uses a local coffee shop (and its free wi-fi) as his office. When he discovers the shop is to be converted to a trendy bistro, he conspires with his friends to derail the plan...and perhaps bag his dream girl in the process.

As regular reader(s) will know, I'm not much for comedy, and I'm far too used to being let down by comedies. I'm happy to report Coffee Town is a pleasant surprise.

Much of Coffee Town's humor is so very wrong that I can't count the times we gave each other the, "Did they really just say/do that??" look. A good bit of it is flat-out gross, too, but none of that will bother Glen Howerton's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia fanbase. Howerton is good in the leading role, and his supporting cast is funny and entertaining, particularly Steve Little, who kept me laughing despite the fact I really wanted to slap him most of the time. The premise may sound thin, but the story is curiously interesting and we were engaged from start to finish.

Coffee Town runs a quick 87 minutes and is unrated.

Coffee Town provides consistent (and consistently inappropriate) laughs, with an good story and solid comedic performances all 'round.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Coffee Town gets seven.

So, dear Blog, that's all the news that's fit to print for now. Next weekend is The World's End, and I'll thank you, dear reader(s), for keeping a good thought that it actually plays here. If it does not, I cannot be responsible for my actions.

Until next time...




Was I saying something?

Cindy Prascik’s reviews of The Host / G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Dearest Blog, on Good Friday I set out for the cinema, hoping religious observances coupled with a warm spring day would give me the place to myself.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

Since we didn't get The Place Beyond the Pines, my leadoff batter on Friday was The Host.

Alien beings inhabit human bodies and take over the Earth, leaving only small pockets of human resistance.

The Host is a profoundly bad film. It's based on a novel by Stephanie Meyer, of Twilight fame, who writes at about a fifth-grade level. I never assumed this'd land among the alltime greats, but I hoped by this point filmmakers were pumping enough cash into her garbage to make it halfway tolerable. That hope was misplaced.

The premise of The Host is fine, if nothing new, but the execution is awful. The dialogue is painfully awkward, particularly exchanges between the lead girl and the alien that occupies her body. Poor writing doesn't help the young cast shine, but the actors have to shoulder some of the blame for their uninspired performances. Every turn is predictable, and, at a bloated two hours and five minutes, this disaster is easily 125...er...30 minutes longer than it should have been.

The Host runs 125 minutes and is rated PG13 for "some sensuality and violence." The whole thing plays like a bad (but overfunded!) film school project, and if I hated it less than Twilight, that's only because I don't love aliens like I love vampires. Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Host gets two.

Next on my agenda was G.I. Joe: Retaliation, admittedly one of my most-anticipated movies of the year. Go ahead, laugh!
Framed and branded as traitors, the G.I. Joes must save the world from destruction while restoring their good name.

Dear Blog, let me admit to you that I'm not well-versed in Joe Lore, and I did myself no favors by failing to re-watch the last G.I. Joe film before I saw this one. I spent a lot of time wondering, "Now what's this guy's deal again?" but that didn't dampen my enthusiasm for the movie one teensy bit.

Dwayne Johnson may never win an Academy Award, but he's certainly one of the more engaging leading men making movies today. After a more subtle turn in Snitch, G.I. Joe sees him back in full ass-kicking mode. The enjoyable supporting cast includes Channing Tatum, Jonathan Pryce, Ray Park, Byung-hun Lee, Adrianne Palicki, Joseph Mazello, and two folks who make me giddy whenever they turn up: Ray Stevenson and Walton Goggins. I found them a very likable group, with nice chemistry.

I did not see this in 3D, but I have no doubt the mountain scenes alone would be absolutely worth the upcharge and 3D-glasses headache.

As you'd expect, G.I. Joe: Retaliation is heavy on big action and light on pretty much everything else. It could fairly be compared to last summer's Battleship, but, unfortunately, G.I. Joe lacks that surprise bit of heart and sincerity that made Battleship more than it had to be.

Still, it's good, dumb fun, and no doubt will be counted among the summer's monster hits, even though we've barely made it to spring.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation clocks in at a fast-paced 110 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language." I loved it every bit as much as I expected to. Of a possible nine Weasleys, G.I. Joe: Retaliation earns seven.

So, dearest Blog, that's about all the news that's fit to print for this lazy Sunday. Since I had my cinema fun on Friday, I guess that makes tomorrow closet-cleaning day. Ugh.

Until next time.......




*shameless fangirling*

MOVIE REVIEW: G.I. JOE: RETALIATION 3D

Veteran dance-film director Jon Chu takes a crack at G.I. Joe in this sequel to Stephen Sommers' blockbuster 2009 film. Dwayne Johnson stars as Roadblock in the sequel, with Channing Tatum returning as Duke, the leader of the Joes, and Ray Park joining them as mute ninja Snake Eyes. Bruce Willis, Ray Stevenson, Adrianne Palicki, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Byung-hun, Elodie Yung, and RZA co-star. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Jon M. Chu

Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum, D.J. Cotrona, Adrianne Palicki, Jonathan Pryce.

Release Date: Mar 28, 2013

Rated PG-13 for Intense Seq of Combat Violence, Brief Sensuality, Language and Martial Arts Action

Runtime: 1 hr. 39 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure

Review:

I’m still trying to remember when I’ve ever had the desire to watch a sequel to a movie I avoided like the plague. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra looked like garbage and everything I read after the fact confirmed that fact. Unlike Transformers, whom I loved as a child, G.I. Joe never connected with me as a kid, even if it was pretty much the same cartoon except one starred robots. Regardless, the trailer for this sequel looked like stupid fun and thankfully it’s incredibly stupid but fun in a toy box kind of way. The nonsensical plot is almost besides the point here. This movie is about highly choreographed and staged action and it works for the most part. There’s very little if any depth to any characters and the actors are all aware they’re in a silly movie. The cast, led by a very manly muscled Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson provides his usual charisma with an over the top delivery that appropriate for the film. Channing Tatum has a brief role in the film, disappearing quickly and quietly. Adrianne Palicki, the woman that would have been the new Wonder Woman, has a noticeable sass to go along with a seemingly endless supply of beauty products. Ray Stevenson, a personal favorite from HBO’s Rome, has a small role but still leaves an impression even with one of the worse southern accents in recent memory. Bruce Willis pops up because he has a little time on the set of RED 2 and continues his self parody tour with unabashed sincerity. It sounds like a mess and it is but it’s a fun mess especially when they stop trying to build a story or have the RZA try and act. That’s not what this film is about; it’s about 3D mountain climbing ninja fights which are surprisingly fun. The 3D, one of the better post conversion jobs, is spotty with some sequences like the aforementioned ninja fight working well and others coming off as too dark and jittery. It’s at best when the extreme action sequences take center stage something director Jon M. Chu obviously feels a lot more comfortable doing.

C+

[Trailer] G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation

Can't say I could ever bring myself to watch the first one. This one looks like it's over the top to the point where it might be fun. That might is a big might, either way, watch Dwayne Johnson flex and everybody else pose their way through the trailer....

MOVIE REVIEW: LEGION

ON DVD

LEGION



Scott Stewart's supernatural thriller Legion, scripted by Peter Schink, concerns a group of strangers in an out-of-the-way eatery who become the first line of defense when God, believing the human race is no longer worthy of Him, decides to end their existence. This motley crew's only spiritual ally is the archangel Michael, played by Paul Bettany. Dennis Quaid, Tyrese Gibson, Charles S. Dutton, and Lucas Black co-star in the Screen Gems production. ~ Perry Seibert, All Movie Guide

Directed by Scott Stewart

Cast: Paul Bettany, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Adrianne Palicki, Charles S. Dutton.

Release Date: Jan 22, 2010

Rated R for strong bloody violence, and language

Runtime: 1 hr. 40 min.

Genres: Suspense/Thriller

Review:

Terminator with a touch of the dash of biblical mumbo jumbo gives you the general sense of what to expect with Scott Sander’s Legion. It’s a film that is most aware of its B-movie schlockly roots and has fun with it on occasion but not nearly enough to make the entire experience enjoyable. Sander’s best attribute is his ability to move the nonsensical plot along at a nice quick pace, never lingering to long on any details. He hits the major and minor plot points like he’s playing darts. The script is littered with archetype characters that all have standard issue personal issues. The cast, made up of surprisingly strong performers, does as well as can be expected. Paul Bettany is stoic and provides his British Angel an other worldliness feel which fits the character well. Adrianne Palicki is believable if overly “troubled” as the mother of the messiah to be. Dennis Quaid phones in his performance to such an extreme degree you are kind left wondering if he ever wanted this film to see the light of day. Tyrese Gibson, Charles S. Dutton and Kate Walsh have small and limited roles but they do more with them than this film deserves. If the script has one strength its it admirable ability to keep you off balance by dispatching characters unexpectedly and abruptly, something I’ve always enjoyed. Outside of that there is very little new or innovative in this genre film.

D