Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the only (*sob*) Gary Oldman movie I'll see in 2018: Hunter Killer.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
When a coup attempt within the Russian government threatens to start World War III, it's up to Gerard Butler to save the world...as it so often is.
Well, dear reader(s), I flippin' LOVED this movie. I'm going to make fun of it a little, or maybe a lot, because it deserves it and because that's what I do with things I love (just ask the Wheeling Nailers), but let nothing give you any impression other than that it has instantly earned a spot in my year-end top ten from which it cannot be unseated.
Hunter Killer has so much testosterone it'll put hair on your chest. An almost exclusively male cast spends a great deal of time posturing and exchanging steely glances to mark territory and convey Man Understanding. Coupled with a whole lotta submarines, torpedoes, and missiles...well...Hunter Killer is basically a Sharpie penis that somebody drew on the forehead of passed-out-drunk Hollywood. By no means should any of that be construed as an insult--on the contrary, it is the very reason I still drag out to the cinema instead of waiting for Netflix--but...well...forewarned is forearmed.
If you require further justification for shelling out your big-screen bucks for Hunter Killer, the film features exquisite photography...air, sea, and land. The movie looks just glorious, and the locations and scenery are spectacular. Battles and effects and everything else about the picture are huge, so definitely see it on the biggest screen you can find. Though it's silly and often predictable, Hunter Killer maintains a genuine tension throughout which helps hold interest even through way too many kumbaya moments. As an added bonus, Gerard Butler utters classic lines such as, "When somebody's shooting at you, you know their intentions!" and Gary Oldman chews the scenery with relish. A couple weird little notes: Though everything on the American side is state of the art, the Russian technology appears to have been dragged kicking and screaming from decades long past, and Russian sailors look like they've only just escaped from a 60s Broadway musical. In only their own company, Russians generally speak Russian (no subtitles) but every now and again they're conversing in English with no reason for it other than clearly the filmmakers decided that these were the bits that we, the viewers, really needed to understand. Would have worked better to go all or nothing with accented English or subtitles. Oh, and can we get a dialect coach to teach Linda Cardellini how to pronounce "nuclear" correctly, please?
Hunter Killer clocks in at a quick 122 minutes and is rated R for "violence and some language."
Hunter Killer won't tax your brain overmuch, but you'll be hard pressed to have more fun at the cinema.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hunter Killer gets eight.
Until next time...
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