Cindy Prascik's Review of Mary

CINDY PRASCIK·SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2019·2 MINUTES As anyone with even a passing familiarity with me or my writing or my Instagram will know: I have a real soft spot for Academy Award winner Gary Oldman. (Yes, you have to say it like that now.) When Gary is in a movie or show, I see it. If I can, I own it. I own a Gary movie that's in Japanese, one where he plays a guy who puts Chapstick on his butt, and one that Gary, himself, has called "the worst movie ever made." (Those are Rain Fall, Nobody's Baby, and Sin, respectively, if you didn't know and were interested.) Today I am a little bit horrified to report on a movie that will be right at home with lemons like Tiptoes, the Backwoods, and that revisionist version of the Scarlet Letter that co-starred Demi Moore. Friends, I give you: Mary.


Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from a trailer if you've seen one. Odds are you haven't.

In hopes of rebooting his life and his marriage, a man buys a boat and takes his family out to sea...but little does he know of the vessel's cursed history! (DUM DUM DUM!) Mary is one of those movies that makes you think everyone involved should sack their agents posthaste. While it's Gary's name above the title, co-stars Emily Mortimer and Manuel Garcia-Rulfo are no slouches. They all deserve better than this thrill-less thriller that ticks every predictable box in the cheap horror movie lexicon. Startle-scares are so obvious they won't raise even a little jump. A paper-thin backstory has been done to death a thousand times before. The dialogue is simply excruciating. I try mightily to say something nice about everything, but the only nice thing I can say about Mary is that it's mercifully short.

Mary clocks in at 84 minutes and is rated R for "some terror, violence, and language."

Mary is available now on most streaming/download platforms.

Mary is a by-the-numbers thriller that'll make Gary Oldman fans pine for the genius of that 1998 Lost in Space movie.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Mary gets one (for Gary). Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Review of Zombieland: Double Tap

This weekend it was off to the pictures--a week late, as has become my norm--for Zombieland: Double Tap.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

The makeshift family from Zombieland soldiers on in the post-zombie apocalypse world.

Ten years on from the first Zombieland, and with many a zombie offering in between, it's remarkable how fresh Double Tap manages to be. Certainly the personalities from the first film remain the same, and there are a fair few nods to the original, but there are enough new faces and new happenings that Double Tap never feels like a warmed-over cash grab.

Zombieland: Double Tap retains its predecessor's sharp sense of humor, with plenty of laugh-out-loud moments tempering gruesome kills. The terrific cast--Jessie Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin-- falls right back in step, and the couple new additions are a good fit, each adding something fresh to the mix. The movie is well-paced and doesn't outstay its welcome, a feat that seems a more and more pleasant surprise on the rare occasions it happens these days. Double Tap serves both as an entertaining continuation and a satisfying conclusion (if it is one?) to a fun series. Be sure to stick around for amusing mid- and post-credits stingers.

Zombieland: Double Tap clocks in at 99 minutes and is rated R for "bloody violence, language throughout, and some drug and sexual content."

Zombieland was my number-one movie of 2009, and, ten years later, Double Tap proves a worthy follow-up.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Zombieland: Double Tap gets eight.

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Laundromat

Construction having made local traffic an almost insurmountable headache, this weekend I again leaned on Netflix' original content so that I would have something to write about for you--yes, YOU--dear reader(s).  Our film of the week: Cautionary tale the Laundromat.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

A woman widowed in a freak boating accident experiences firsthand the duplicity of big insurance and the networks that support it.

Oscar winners Meryl Streep and Gary Oldman (yes, I'm always going to remind you he's an Oscar winner now) head a decorated cast that also includes Antonio Banderas, James Cromwell, Robert Patrick, Jeffrey Wright, and Sharon Stone, as well as a host of other familiar faces. Many appearances amount to little more than cameos, and you get the feeling the Laundromat's message is important enough that some pretty impressive names just wanted to be a part of it. So, why does it seem like Netflix is burying this picture? I mean, when I log on, the first thing it suggests is that Breaking Bad movie that's a week old already. (Sorry, Netflix, that's a no go.) I had to do a full-on search to get a Netflix original STARRING MERYL STREEP to even show up. Sure there were some legal hassles over this picture, but those were resolved in Netflix' favor. I think the problem here is that--for all its star power--the Laundromat is a barely average movie.

Starting with the positives, the Laundromat's talented cast does a terrific job with the material. Streep is heartbreakingly perfect in the lead, as of course one would take for granted. Oldman and Banderas are fantastic together, a pair of slimy lawyers telling their "side" of this based-on-actual-events tale. Each familiar face that turns up in a smaller role is a nice surprise that makes the movie worth watching, despite its flaws. The story itself is compelling, and it's told here with grim humor. You'll feel dirty for laughing at it, but laugh you might. The attorneys serve as narrators, and their spin gives the picture a different vibe. I doubt it will make anyone sympathize with them, but it's a clever enough turn. The movie transitions with animated frames that also give it a lighter feel that it might have had otherwise; in fact, the whole has something of a theatrical sense to it. On the flip side, the Laundromat is extremely heavy-handed with its message and--while I'd agree its lessons warrant firm and regular reinforcement--that doesn't do the movie any favors. The film moves slowly, and there are very few likable or sympathetic characters, ultimately making it rather a tedious exercise that feels like a poor man's Big Short.

The Laundromat clocks in at 95 minutes and is rated R for "language, some sexual content, and disturbing images."

The Laundromat has an important message that might have been more impactful if its story were more deftly told.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, the Laundromat gets six.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP

Zombie slayers Tallahassee, Columbus, Wichita and Little Rock square off against the newly evolved undead.

Director: Ruben Fleisher

Cast: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Abigail Breslin, Emma Stone, Rosario Dawson, Zoey Deutch, Luke Wilson

Release Date: October 18, 2019

Genres: Action, Comedy, Horror

Rated R for bloody violence, language throughout, some drug and sexual content

Runtime: 1h 39min

Review:

Sometimes delayed sequels to beloved films can leave fan feeling short changed there are plenty of examples out there from Anchorman to Zoolander follow ups.  So it’d be fair to say that going into Zombieland: Double Tap you wouldn’t be remised if you came into this sequel with lowered expectations. Added to the fact, zombies have kind of peppered the cultural zeitgeist since the original premiered.  Somehow Ruben Fleisher and his cast pulled off an impressive bit of alchemy by delivering a worthy follow to the original film.  The film moves at a breakneck speed but it still give you time to get reacquainted with the characters from the first film before introducing a handful of new characters which work impressively well.  Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Abigail Breslin and Emma Stone all fall back into their roles with incredible ease, their love of the character are apparent in each frame of the film.  Joining the group is Zoey Deutch who steals nearly every scene she’s in as vapid blond.  Rosario Dawson is always a welcome addition and she works well as a counter point and love interest to Woody Harrelson’s Tallahassee.  More familiar faces show up before the whole things done, don’t leave right when the credits roll, and its all so much fun you don’t really notice or care that there’s not really much a plot in this sequel which ultimately doesn’t matter. 

A-