Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Assassin’s Creed & Sing

 

 

Dearest Blog: The holiday week provided the opportunity for an early trip to Marquee Cinemas for Assassin's Creed and Sing. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. 

 

First up: Assassin's Creed. After being conscripted into a dangerous experiment, a former death-row inmate discovers he's descended from a member of a secret society of assassins...or something like that. Just before heading out to the theatre, I saw a headline that called Assassin's Creed "an insult to gamers." 

 

I can't speak for gamers, but it's certainly an insult to, in no particular order: Brendan Gleesan, Charlotte Rampling, my intelligence, theatre workers who might accidentally have to watch some of it while sweeping up, and the seven dollars I invested in my ticket. I well and truly lack the words to express how terrible this film is, but I think the guy behind me who snored loudly for two hours about covers it. 

 

The real crime of Assassin's Creed is that it's too terrible to be fun, too dull to work up a healthy bile about it. It doesn't explain itself very well, so, by the time it settles in, you've already stopped caring. Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard are ridiculous, a pair of cookie-cutter characters uttering lines so stupid you'll facepalm right there in your seat. 

 

The rest of the cast doesn't fare much better, but, with less screen time, they have fewer opportunities to embarrass themselves. The effects and stylized stunts are mostly mediocre, though the movie does boast some dramatic, pretty frames, and Fassbender spends a fair bit of time shirtless, so there's that. 

 

Never let it be said I don't try to give you the silver lining, dear reader(s). Assassin's Creed clocks in at 115 minutes and is rated PG13 for intense sequences of violence and action, thematic elements, and brief strong language. 

 

If you were looking for a fun actioner to break up the drama of awards season, sadly, you're going to have to keep looking. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Assassin's Creed gets two. 

Fangirl Points: Michael Kenneth Williams!! (The only reason I don't regret seeing this.) 

 

Next on the agenda: the highly-anticipated animated feature, Sing. With his venue in financial ruin, a theatre manager stages a singing competition to try to earn the money to save it. 

 

As you will know from the trailers, all the characters in Sing are animals: the koala theatre manager and his best friend, a sheep; competition hopefuls that include a gorilla, a snail (my favorite!), a porcupine, and an elephant. The art an animation are bright, colorful, and entirely kid-friendly, so even creatures who might normally be intimidating are cute and appealing. 

 

Noteworthy voice talent (Oscar winners Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Hudson, and Reese Witherspoon, to name a few) is in fine form. Sing kicks off with a Beatles tune. It's a so-so cover of Golden Slumbers, but, as openings go, you could do a lot worse. 

 

From there, the movie includes snippets of dozens of different songs, some terrific (My Way is chill-inducing, even when performed by a mouse); some...not so much (disappointing that a half-dozen youngsters sitting next to me seemed to know the lyrics to only one song, a charming little ditty that goes: "Oh. My. Gosh. Look at her butt!"). 

 

Sing is a real family movie, with a positive, upbeat story, songs that cover many generations, and humor that's appropriate for all ages. Sing understands that eight-year-olds don't bring themselves to the movies, and it makes sure to entertain mom and dad, too, truly a film with something for everyone. 

 

Sing runs a quick 108 minutes and is rated PG for "some rude humor and mild peril." Sing is a solid, entertaining outing that'll be great for families this holiday season. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Sing gets seven and a half. 

 

Fangirl Points: Peter Serafinowicz! Jennifer Saunders! 

 

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY

This prequel to the very tells the thrilling story of how a ragtag band of freedom fighters -- including a former soldier-turned-prisoner (Felicity Jones), a Rebel Alliance insider (Diego Luna), a Jedi (Donnie Yen), and a sentient robot (voiced by Alan Tudyk) -- worked together to steal the Death Star's secret blueprints. Ben Mendelsohn, Forest Whitaker, Riz Ahmed, Mads Mikkelsen, and Jimmy Smits co-star in Rogue One, the first of several Jimmy Smits spin-offs planned after J.J. Abrams' J.J. Abrams reboot. ~ Violet LeVoit, Rovi

Director: Gareth Edwards

Cast :Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Ben Mendelsohn, Donnie Yen, Mads Mikkelsen

Release Date: Dec 16, 2016

Rated PG-13 for Sci-Fi Violence and Action

Runtime: 2 hr. 13 min.

Genres: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Review:

It’s probably best to start with a small disclaimer.  I’ve never been a diehard Star Wars fan and watched all of them mainly out of duty.  That’s not to say I don’t like a few of them but I can’t say I really love them with any deep rooted passion.  A fact that was reiterated after watching The Force Awakens last year, a film I liked the first time and instantly disliked after a 2^nd viewing.  The biggest issue with that film was how lazily it played on nostalgia with very little in the way of innovation.  Rogue One thankfully brings some fresh energy to the franchise by opening up the established world and telling a story free of major shackles outside of major events from the first film.  Gareth Edwards delivers a film that offers a fresh perspective with a decidedly more grounded and visceral approach.  At its center is Felicity Jones who plays Jyn Eros with a tormented but heartfelt energy throughout.  She’s a well rounded character which serves the film well.  Diego Luna is a bit more of a cipher as the film only gives passing moments of depth to his character which is a shame since Luna is a talented actor.  Alan Tudyk, Donnie Yen and Riz Ahmed all bring a strong sense of heart to the film.  It’s a testament to the film that we meet some of these characters well into the film but form a strong connection with them quickly.  It’s nice to see that Mads Mikkelsen fairs better here than he did in Dr. Strange even if his screen time is much smaller.  Ben Mendelsohn plays a perfect villain even if he leans a bit too much toward the mustache twirling variety.  Darth Vader is used sparingly but when he appears it makes a strong impact, particularly in the third act.  A bit of trimming here and there could have streamlined the film a bit but considering how troubled the production was, it’s a bit of a minor miracle that the film came out as well as it did.  I go even as far as to say it’s probably one of my favorite Star Wars films in general.

A-

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story / Collateral Beauty

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday I (or, more specifically, the driver) braved inclement weather to get to Marquee Cinemas for the promising double-bill of Rogue One and Collateral Beauty. Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers. 

 

First up: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Episode 3.5: The Rebel Alliance risks everything in hopes of finding the key to destroying the Death Star. Rogue One is basically the story you don't (or didn't) know that lays the foundation for the one you do. 

 

Familiar elements provide a nice touch, but the movie makes every effort to stand on its own. It's a little slow getting started, but, ultimately, it's solid enough to recommend to even those who have never seen a Star Wars movie before. That being said: The first act of Rogue One could have been better paced. 

 

The movie spends a good deal of time laying groundwork that really isn't all that complicated; then, as if that weren't enough, it wastes even more time flashing back to stuff that happened only 20 minutes before. It's awkward and frustrating. Warming up to our heroine, Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones), is no easy task; she's not even half-likeable until she meets up with Rebel pilot Cassian Andor (Diego Luna).  (Disclaimer: Opinion may be based entirely on the fact that I don't like Jones or her weird teeth.) 

 

Once the picture gets moving, there's plenty of action to go 'round, and it becomes much easier to get invested in the characters...perhaps because they're just better characters. The movie really finds its heart when Chirrut Imwe (Donnie Yen), Baze Malbus (Wen Jiang), and Bodhi Rook (Riz Ahmed) turn up, and, unlike Jyn, it's very easy to root for them. Ahmed, in particular, is terrific and does scared and conflicted about as well as anyone. Rogue One has a fair bit of humor, some that hits the mark and some that's just too silly for the situation. 

 

Michael Giacchino provides a rousing score, though, ultimately, it's those hints of John Williams' original music that really feel like home. Large sections of the picture are too dark to see what's going on, and the runtime is a little excessive (which could have been remedied easily if only that first half had been better plotted), but, for my money, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is a fun outing that's even better than The Force Awakens. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story clocks in at 134 minutes and is rated PG13 for "extended sequences of sci-fi violence and action." 

 

Rogue One is another worthy installment in one of the greatest movie sagas of all time. Do see it on the big screen while you can. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Rogue One gets seven and a half. 

 

Fangirl points: Ben Mendelsohn! Mads Mikkelson! Jimmy Smits! *swoon* 

 

Next up: Collateral Beauty. After the loss of his young daughter, a grieving man begins writing theraputic letters to Love, Time, and Death. Much to his surprise, Love, Time, and Death offer the favor of a personal reply. 

 

When I went to buy my ticket for Collateral Beauty, I accidentally asked for Collateral Damage, which anyone who knows anything about me will TOTALLY understand. Collateral Beauty isn't really my thing, but the trailer promised some Oscar-worthy performances, and, since none of the really good awards contenders--La La Land, Manchester By The Sea, Nocturnal Animals--have played here (I'll hopefully add a "yet" to the end of that bit), it became my default option for a weekend so deep into Awards Season I couldn't afford to take a pass. 

 

Collateral Beauty has two chief strikes against it: First, it is a criminal waste of everything that normally makes Will Smith such a compelling lead. Smith is more than capable of tackling this sort of drama, but he's got an inherent charm that's suffocated by this lifeless character. 

 

Even when he gets really angry, it's a flatline. Secondly, everyone outside of Smith is just SO. DAMN. EARNEST. A little of that goes a long way, and so much makes these individuals seem insincere, like one-dimensional paper dolls. Helen Mirren is always a delight, and, if there's something that's almost as cool as Helen Mirren with an RPG in RED, it's Helen Mirren as Death, even if that's not *quite* what the trailer leads you to believe. 

 

The remainder of the cast is more than solid, but they're drowning in broadly-drawn characters that are about as subtle as a dollar-store greeting card. Collateral Beauty's finale is unspeakably hokey, but, if you didn't guess from the trailers that hokey was on the menu, you probably weren't paying attention. 

 

Ultimately, Collateral Beauty fails to tick any of the boxes that make a quality motion picture, but it's got a warm-and-fuzzy holiday vibe and, to be honest, I liked it better than it probably deserves. (But Collateral Damage is still way better.) 

 

Collateral Beauty runs a very reasonable 97 minutes and is rated PG13 for "thematic elements and brief strong language." The awards contender that wasn't, Collateral Beauty will still satisfy any cravings for sentimental holiday fare. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Collateral Beauty gets four and a half. 

Fangirl points: My beautiful New York City! Naomie Harris (even if her accent is all over the place)! 

 

Until next time... 

 

MOVIE REVIEW: OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

An office manager (T.J. Miller) throws a wild Christmas party in the hope of finalizing a deal with a big-time client (Courtney B. Vance). If the party is unsuccessful and the client gets away, the manager's boss and older sister (Jennifer Aniston) will close the branch and lay off all of the employees. Jason Bateman, Olivia Munn, and Kate McKinnon co-star in this holiday comedy directed by Josh Gordon and Will Speck. ~ Daniel Gelb, Rovi

Director: Will Speck, Josh Gordon

Cast: Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Olivia Munn, TJ Miller, Jillian Bell

Release Date: Dec 09, 2016

Rated R for Drug Use, Crude Sexual Content, Graphic Nudity and Language Throughout

Runtime: 1 hr. 45 min.

Genres: Comedy

Review:

Office Christmas Party is a film that’s never really as funny as it should be.  The cast is made up of a who’s who of talented comedians who can be really funny all on their own.  Somehow, the film never really meshes together the way it should have.  It’s funny in spots but never consistently enough to make it worth revisiting again.  The overall plot borrows heavily from Animal House and Project X but it never really finds its own footing.  When all the crazy antics are done it’s a surprisingly tame R rated comedy that’ll be easily forgotten by the time you left the theater.

C