Cindy Prascik's 2013: A Movie Year in Review

Dearest Blog, if my count is correct, in 2013 I saw 74 movies that I hadn't seen before. Following is a list of my favorites on the year, as well as a few moments that stand out for me...for better or for worse!

Two important notes:

A film's placement on this list won't necessarily reflect its original rating, as time and repeat viewings favor some films, while others don't fare as well.

This year in particular, it seems my list is distinguished as much by the films I didn't see as the ones I did. Know that Dallas Buyers' Club, 12 Years a Slave, Inside Llewyen Davis, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, and Kill Your Darlings, to name a few, are not willful omissions, but rather movies that just didn't play anywhere I could get to them.

So...without further ado... *drumroll* ...my top ten!

10. The Croods

This offering from Dreamworks Animation isn't quite How to Train Your Dragon, but it's a heartwarming family tale that is so gorgeous to look at it moved me to tears a couple times when I saw it on the big screen.

9. The Great Gatsby

The most recent film version of this literary classic is driven by yet another extraordinary turn from the always-spectacular Leonardo DiCaprio, who deserves a best actor nod here as much as for The Wolf of Wall Street. It also features some of the most stunning costumes and set pieces to be found at the cinema this year, a true feast for the eyeballs.

8. Pacific Rim

An old school monsters-versus-aliens epic, Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim was a big screen must see, distinguished by fantastic effects and a rousing performance from Idris Elba.

7. Now You See Me

Seemingly summer's only offering that wasn't a prequel, sequel, or reboot, Now You See Me is blessed with a great cast and a fun, original premise. It grabs your attention and never lets go.

6. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Upon first viewing, this was a bit of a disappointment to me, but it's grown on me enough to earn (back) a spot in my yearly best-of list. The addition of a useless female character is offset by my affection for the franchise and, especially, the magnificence of the titular dragon himself. (Disclaimer: The Hobbit has also been aided and abetted by the presence of two of my favorite screen hotties: Aidan Turner and Luke Evans! Shallow much? I know.)

5. Dead Man Down

Terrific performances from Colin Farrell and Noomi Rapace anchor a well-crafted, at times brutal, movie that's smart, deliberate, and tense from beginning to end.

4. American Hustle

The year's strongest cast delivers uniformly excellent performances in an exciting film full of twists and turns, laughs and tears.

3. Star Trek Into Darkness

With 17 big-screen viewings, the most recent installment in the Trek franchise wins 2013's "favorite obsession" award, a sequel I loved even more than its predecessor.

2. Metallica Through the Never

One of just two movies to receive a perfect nine of nine Weasleys in 2013, Through the Never is mostly just a concert film with a little extra mustard on it. What a concert film it is, though, boasting a career-spanning setlist from one of the world's top metal bands that sounds a-maz-ing in digital surround sound. Undoubtedly the most fun I had at the movies this year! *horns up*

1. The World's End

My other perfect score in 2013 went to my most-anticipated film of the year, high expectations not crippling this one as they so often do. I named The World's End my number one the minute I saw it and, frankly, nothing else ever came close to dislodging it from the top spot. I stand by each and every glowing remark in my original review of this final installment in Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy, with one exception: at the time, I gave Nick Frost and Eddie Marsan credit for doing the acting heavy lifting, while Simon Pegg was the funnyman this time around. Having watched the film dozens of times since its July release, I have to amend my assessment of Pegg's work to give credit for one of the best all-around performances I saw this year, as heartbreaking as it is hilarious. It's a shame neither he nor the film is likely to be nominated for any major awards, though they're turning up on plenty of best-of lists by bloggers, magazines, and online movie sites, folks who don't get paid (or paid off) to tell you what's good and what isn't. The World's End masterfully blends comedy, drama, and sci-fi/fantasy, a perfect film that easily tops my list.

And now 2013's tidbits and also rans:

It broke my heart a little to have to cut Elysium from this list. Captain Phillips and Saving Mr. Banks also had a fair shot at making it right up to the last, but in the end I think I liked The Croods better...by a hair.

Weirdest Cinema Experience: Joseph Gordon-Levitt's porno that's not really a porno (Don Jon).

Most Criminal Waste of Fine Actors (tie): Paranoia (Gary Oldman and Harrison Ford)/The Counselor (Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, and Brad Pitt).

Best Movie You Totally Missed: Phantom. (It lasted a whole seven days at my cinema.)

Hottest Cinema Vampire: Gemma Arterton (Byzantium).

Funniest Coincidence: Peter Capaldi credited as "WHO Doctor" (World War Z) just weeks before being named the new Doctor Who.

Best/Worst Gag: Hansel (Jeremy Renner) gets Diabetes from too much candy (Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters).

Best Cameo: Backstreet Boys (This is the End). I may or may not have jumped out of my seat and *squeed* out loud!

Most Horrifying Idea Ever: Running, climbing zombies (World War Z).

Most Curious Choice That Actually Worked (Against All Odds): Gary Oldman as Elvis (Guns, Girls & Gambling).

Worst Film of 2013: Only God Forgives (but I doubt even He can forgive this mess).

So, kids, there you have it, my thoughts on the year that's ending. 2014 promises to be extra-awesome, with no less than three big-screen outings for my favorite, Mr. Leonard Gary Oldman, so I'll see you at the movies!

Until next time...



Let's Boo Boo!

Cindy Prascik’s Reviews of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones / The World's End

Dearest Blog, this weekend's cinema offerings were a hodge-podge of dread and great anticipation, respectively, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones and The World's End.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up was another in Hollywood's seemingly-endless stream of teen supernatural thrillers, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.

When her mother goes missing, a young girl discovers she has the blood of a Shadowhunter, that is a secret league of demon-hunting warriors.

Oh, Aidan Turner, the things I do for you. Not the things I would do for you--which are many, varied, and profane--but the things I do do for you, such as paying good money to watch this.

It is my understanding that the Mortal Instruments series was initially based on Harry Potter fanfiction, as the inexplicably popular 50 Shades of Gray series is based on Twilight fanfic. Note to Hollywood: please stop making movies based on fanfiction. You're embarrassing yourself.

City of Bones is derivative and shallow, but the bigger problem is the same one that has plagued recent seasons of True Blood and Once Upon a Time, that is, it introduces such a jumble of characters that often the story it really wants to tell is nowhere in sight. These secret Shadowhunters and their demon enemies, while far from original, could have been interesting enough, but by the time you mix in vampires and werewolves and time travel and a little daddy-angst to boot, what you're left with is a pretty big mess. Much of the dialogue is cringe-worthy, and parts of the film were so awful I threw my hands over my face in dismay. The flip side of that is, other than being far too long, the movie honestly isn't boring, and there are some bits that are really pretty good. Most stabs at humor hit the mark, although there were also several times my cinema was cracking up over stuff that clearly was not meant to be funny.

Lily Collins and her mighty eyebrows do a passable job in the lead. Her male counterparts, Jamie Campbell Bower and Robert Sheehan, are the movie's highlights, both quite engaging. As is the norm these days, all my favorites are relegated to "somebody's mom"- and "somebody's dad"-type roles. The fetching Mr. Turner has less to do than I'd have liked, but more to do than I expected, so we'll call it a draw. Playing the otherworldly is old hat to Turner by now, so of course he does a fine job of it. It's nice to see Lena Heady, Jared Harris, Kevin Durand, and CCH Pounder in smaller roles, but the real scene-stealer is Jonathan Rhys Myers in his usual over-the-top fashion.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones runs 130 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of fantasy violence and action, and some suggestive content."

The good news is it's not as bad as I expected. The bad news is it's still pretty bad.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones gets four and a half.

Next up was the genius Edgar Wright's latest offering, The World's End.

A group of once-inseparable friends reunites to complete a legendary pub crawl. When they return to their hometown, they discover things are not quite as they remember.

Dear Blog, it is well known that I worship at the altar of Wright/Pegg/Frost. It would be fair to say, along with The Hobbit, The World's End is my most-anticipated film of the year. I am pleased to report my enthusiasm has been well placed.

This story of five friends, who have drifted apart in the two decades since they left school, is sincere and likely feels familiar to most adults on my side of 40. Sympathetic performances from Nick Frost and Eddie Marsan are the dramatic highlights, while Simon Pegg gets to be the funnyman this time around. Favorites Paddy Considine and Martin Freeman are also terrific. On the sci-fi side, the idea isn't necessarily anything new, but it's well executed with some pretty cool effects. Both sides of the plot--the situation among these five friends, and the fantastic happenings in their old hometown--are interesting from start to finish; the story never misses a step. Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg deserve full marks for writing a film that goes in so many directions, yet never feels like it's lost its way. All the pieces fit perfectly.

The World's End clocks in at a perfectly-paced 109 minutes and is rated R for "pervasive language, including sexual references."

The World's End defies categorization. It's comedy, it's sci-fi, and it's genuinely moving drama, all at the same time.

It is also (*trumpet fanfare*) the first film of 2013 to earn a perfect nine of a possible nine Weasleys. And, damn, This Corrosion sounds fine in surround sound!!

Until next time...




Admit it, he could make you do worse things than sit through a lousy movie...