Cindy Prascik's Review of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

When a volcano threatens a (re)extinction-level event, dinosaurs remaining in the shuttered park must be rescued.

 

Dear reader(s), in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I'll admit I'm not exactly invested in the Jurassic series. I bet there's not a single movie--not even the one that's been popping up on cable for two and a half decades--that I've watched more than once. They're definitely the sort of action-packed pictures that appeal to me, but but for some reason they've never become favorites. That being said, a new Jurassic movie is what's out this weekend, so a new Jurassic movie is what I saw, and it was...okay.

 

First, the pluses: I love dinosaurs. These dinosaurs look amazing. When ol' T-Rex comes at ya from the screen, it's all you can do not to back away, and that's not even in 3D! There's not nearly enough Jeff Goldblum, but no movie was ever worse for having him, even in limited quantities. Bryce Dallas Howard quickly swaps stupid heels for a very sensible pair of boots. Well done, filmmakers, on correcting my biggest complaint from the last movie! Fallen Kingdom has some decent jump scares and one particularly well-choreographed action sequence. It's always a crap-shoot with kid actors, but we've got us a tolerable one here. The movie runs a hair over two hours, but doesn't really seem that long, and Michael Giacchino provides another of his epic scores.

 

Now, the minuses: Really, Fallen Kingdom just isn't all that interesting. It's a done-to-death story (not always with dinos, of course), and the one-trick pony that is Chris Pratt is wearing out its welcome, at least for me. The two main supporting characters are too cartoonish to add much, and Howard is bad, just bad. In fact, the camera wastes a great deal of time lingering on the expressions of people who just aren't that...expressive. It's silly to the point of hilarity. At one point a guy down the row from me stage-whispered, "This is stupid!" I giggled, wondering if he expected Star Lord vs. T-Rex to be an intellectual pursuit, but then I thought, you know what? This IS stupid. Its execution is stupid. It's still a decent bit of summer fun, but...it should have been so much better.

 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom clocks in at 128 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and peril."

 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom will undoubtedly continue the franchise's streak of my not watching more than once. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom gets five.

 

Until next time!