Dearest Blog: Today it was off to Marquee Cinemas to see my beloved Gary Oldman's latest picture, The Space Between Us.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
A boy born and raised on Mars yearns to come to Earth.
Well, dear reader(s), I can't sugar coat it: The Space Between Us might be the worst movie I've ever seen. Almost everything about this film is so embarrassingly terrible that it's hard to know where to start, so, just to keep you on your toes, I'll start with the few things I actually liked. First, Gary looks amazing. Like, even-better-than-Air-Force-One amazing. He's in the movie a LOT more than I expected, too. I thought he'd be on the periphery of the main story between the two kids, but actually he's kinda the star, with commensurate screen time (which he already may be regretting). There's some lovely scenery as our kids traverse the country, a handful of genuinely funny/cute moments (though few and far between), and a few bits of the score that really caught my ear. That's the good news. The bad news is this movie is otherwise awful to the last detail. It sells its premise so poorly that you're laughing at the very idea before it really even gets started. Awkward, hokey dialogue sounds like it was written by someone who has never heard a real person speak before. It's hard to fault the actors, given the material, but nobody does anything to elevate this mess, either. Mostly what we've got here is two hours of smitten teens acting all teeny and adults scampering around, overwrought, in the most predictable series of events ever. On the Gary Oldman scale, it's about as bad as Lost in Space.
The Space Between us clocks in at an interminable 120 minutes and is rated PG13 for "brief sensuality and language."
As always, I encourage everyone to get out to the movies this weekend. Please just go see something besides The Space Between Us. Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Space Between Us gets one, for giving me my Gary on the big screen.
Until next time...