Dearest Blog: Today it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the thriller Bad Samaritan.
Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
A petty thief gets more than he bargained for when he breaks into the house of a deranged millionaire.
Well, dear reader(s), there's no sugar-coating it: Bad Samaritan might be the worst movie I've ever seen. I actively hated it from the first scene, and I'm pretty sure I haven't checked the time as much since my friends and I made the poorly-informed decision to see Swimfan a decade and a half ago. While the movie manages to maintain a fair bit of suspense--resulting in a decent jump scare or two--it doesn't have much else going for it. David Tennant is terrific as a full-on sleazeball, the kind of d-bag who wears sunglasses in the rain, even when he’s not trying to conceal his identity. While it's true he probably hasn't been this menacing since Secret Smile, it's hard to be terrified when everything else about the film is so ridiculous. Robert Sheehan also manages to be better than the material, and, if we're being honest (shallow, but honest) I'll admit that a couple hours of his beautiful face was enough to keep me from walking out, though I was sorely tempted at times. That's where the good news ends. Bad Samaritan has the most god-awful dialogue in recent memory (remember, The Hurricane Heist qualifies as recent memory), wholly predictable twists, and a weirdly-melodramatic score that kinda dwarfs the rest of it. I think the filmmakers were aiming for disturbing, but what they got instead was gross, even though the movie isn't really graphic by today's standards. If you'd have told me I could be this bored watching one of my all-time favorite actors, I'd have called you a liar, but I'd have been mistaken. Sadly mistaken.
Bad Samaritan clocks in at 111 minutes and is rated R for "violence, language throughout, some drug use, and brief nudity."
Friends, I'll never be one to steer you away from the cinema, but if you're heading out to the movies this weekend, maybe spend your bucks on something other than Bad Samaritan.
Of a possible nine Weasleys, Bad Samaritan gets one.
Until next time...