Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Marvel's Eternals & Hotel Transylvania: Transformania

 

My dear reader(s): This weekend I was able to catch up with a couple titles I'd very much been looking forward to, Marvel's Eternals and Hotel Transylvania: Transformania.

Spoiler level here will be mild, just a small, non-plot-specific comment on HT4.

First up: Marvel's Eternals.

D-List Marvel heroes attempt to save the world whilst navigating their own personal soap operas.

'Kayyyyyyy...first I want to say I didn't hate Eternals as much as many seemed to, and I didn't think it was any worse than most Marvel content. There were a few specific things I liked, and more that I didn't like, and for whatever that is worth to you, my dear reader(s), here they are.

The pros:

Richard Madden. I've been taking a pass on a good many comic book movies these days, but there was no chance I was missing a movie with Richard Madden. With Richard Madden in tights, no less. Happy days!

An interesting and diverse cast. Perhaps the most diverse of any costumed hero flick to date. We love to see it.

(Spoiler) turning up in the mid-credits scene. If you're online at all, ever, you probably know, but I won't divulge it here. Suffice to say I squealed even though I knew it was coming.

A couple truly unexpected (at least by me) developments. Mostly Eternals doesn't reinvent the wheel, but there were a few times I thought, whoa, did not see *that* coming!

The potential for some of these characters to get very interesting, assumimg they get some space in a less-crowded future film. The possibility is there. We'll see what they do with it.

The cons:

Eternals is too long, easily by 30 minutes, maybe more. Way too much filler. BUT...

...it also fails to explain most characters fully enough for non-comic readers. No one here is Captain America; the casual viewer could do with an abridged history and explanation of powers for these folks.

Most of the dialogue is awkwardly written and badly delivered, and the story is messy and borrows too much from other genre pictures.

Some of the effects are inexpicably sketchy for such a big-budget effort, and, finally...

...despite their potential, *this* movie didn't make me interested enough in any of these characters to care if I ever see them again. (I'm interested enough in a couple of the actors to care a lot, but that's another matter altogether.)

Marvel's Eternals clocks in at 156 minutes and is rated PG13 for "fantasy violence and action, some language, and brief sexuality."

Eternals is another forgettable bit of fun from Marvel, but it suffers for its bloated runtime, lack of familiar heroes, and failure to flesh out new faces. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Marvel's Eternals gets four and a half.

Marvel's Eternals is now streaming on Disney+.

Next on my weekend agenda: Hotel Transylvania: Transformania.

Van Helsing's Monsterfication Ray turns humans to monsters and monsters to humans.

The fourth installment in the Hotel Transylvania series caused me to utter perhaps the strangest words that have ever come out of my mouth: "I hope this is still good without Adam Sandler!" Drac here is voiced by one Brian Hull. I'm not a fan of Sandler and I'm not 100% sure I'd have noticed the difference if I hadn't known beforehand, but - armed with the knowledge - something definitely felt off with the new Drac. That being said, the HT movies are among my favorites, and I enjoyed this installment quite a bit.

Many faves from the previous films have returned here: Steve Buscemi, Keegan-Michael Key, David Spade, Molly Shannon, Selena Gomez, and Andy Samberg, to name a few. What initially seemed like a limited spooky premise has been parlayed into movies that tell pretty different stories. This one is good fun with a nice message about valuing people for who they are, not who you want them to be. The animation is cute and colorful, if nothing groundbreaking. Transformania plays like a finale, and if it is, it's a good one. If they choose to make more, well...I'll be first in line, despite the fact that this Drac (spoiler alert) really doesn't say, "Blah blah blah." Not even once. *sadface*

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania runs 98 minutes and is rated PG for "some action and rude humor, including cartoon nudity." (Seriously, I didn't make that up.)

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania is a dopey good time for the whole family. Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania gets seven.

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania is now streaming on Amazon Prime.

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Everest & Hotel Transylvania 2

Dearest Blog, today it was off to the pictures for strange bedfellows Everest and Hotel Transylvania 2.

 Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers or (I assume) actual events.

First on my agenda: Everest. Several groups of climbers take on the world's highest mountain. Okay, dear reader(s), admit it: From the very first trailer, you were trying to pick out who among Everest's cast of critical darlings would be first to bite the dust, and who might make it out alive.

It's a teen-slasher flick, except, instead of a masked maniac, the big bad is Mother Nature. I read a piece earlier this week that suggested the movie would keep people from wanting to climb Mount Everest, but I'ma be straight: it didn't take a movie to convince me life-threatening hobbies are a bad idea; rather, once you've seen Everest, you'll be lucky if you aren't scared to walk to your car if it's parked on a grade in a little snow.

Everest has a lot going for it, not least its stellar cast. Josh Brolin and Jake Gyllenhall are always big draws for me, but there are no missteps among this group. John Hawkes is terrific as always, as are Kiera Knightly and a woefully underused Robin Wright. The breathtaking scenery is worth the price of admission all on its own...just stunning.

Visual and sound effects are also top notch. (When sound effects are so good a person who doesn't do sound effects for a living notices, those are some good sound effects!) Both make you feel as though you're right on the mountain with our crew of climbers.

The film does a great job of maintaining tension throughout; in fact, there was not a peep out of anyone in my theatre for the entire two hours; the crowd was mesmerized.

Having said all that, Everest does have a couple weak points, too. Some sequences are drawn out for effect, but a trim here or there wouldn't have hurt. During the most harrowing climbing scenes, everyone is so bundled up it's impossible to tell who's who, unless you had the presence of mind early on to make mental notes of whose jacket was what color.

Necessary for realism, certainly, but not so much fun for the guy with the popcorn trying to keep score. Overall, though, those are petty quibbles with a mostly solid flick. Everest clocks in at 121 minutes and is rated PG13 for "intense peril and disturbing images."

Everest is a good movie sure to convince you mountain climbing is the world's most insane hobby.

I'm glad I learned macrame in the eighth grade!

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Everest gets seven.

Next up, Hotel Transylvania 2. Having grown up, married, and had a baby, Dracula's daughter Mavis considers moving out of Hotel Transylvania to raise her child among "normal" people.

I gotta admit, after the stressful Everest, I was never so grateful for the idiocy of Adam Sandler. Despite my general aversion to Mr. Sandler, I truly enjoyed the first Hotel Transylvania, and hoped for more of the same from the sequel. As with most Sandler vehicles, HT2's voice cast is a who's who of Saturday Night Live alums. It won't do anything for my cinephile cred to admit I laughed my butt off at BOTH Grownups movies, but, well, there it is. No movie was ever worse for a bit of Steve Buscemi, either, and Mel Brooks is a terrific addition to the cast.

Transylvania boasts beautiful art and animation, but the 3D is essentially useless. If it's a bit slow towards the end, the movie mostly moves at a good clip, and I laughed out loud more than a few times.

There are some cute moments to which the older among us are sure to relate, and plenty of gross-outs for the kids. Finally, the not-so-subtle "can't we all get along" message is more than welcome in our contentious times, even if it's buried in a kids' cartoon. Hotel Transylvania 2 runs 89 minutes and is rated PG for "some scary images, action, and rude humor."

It won't come close to any Best Animated Feature awards, but, for my money, Hotel Transylvania 2 is good fun for all ages.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Hotel Transylvania gets six.

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: MONSTERS UNIVERSITY

Take a trip back in time to when star Monsters, Inc. employees Mike Wazowski (voice of Billy Crystal) and James P. "Sulley" Sullivan (voice of John Goodman) were just two promising young students at Monsters University in this frightfully fun Disney/Pixar prequel. Dan Scanlon (Tracy) takes the directorial reigns for this prequel featuring additional vocal contributions by Steve Buscemi, Dave Foley, and Julia Sweeney. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

Director: Dan Scanlon

Cast: Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Helen Mirren, Peter Sohn

Release Date: Jun 21, 2013 RealD 3D

Rated G for frightening Scenes

Runtime: 1 hr. 42 min.

Genres: Animated, Family

Review:

Pixar has been in a strange funk as of late. I tend to act like Cars 2 doesn’t exist and Brave played it too safe for my taste. Since I’m still waiting for a sequel to The Incredibles, Monsters University will have to fill the spot. It’s typical of Pixar’s work, polished, well written and funny enough to keep most children and adults entertained for the better part of its runtime. What it’s not, like their last 2 entries, is special. In fact it’s surprisingly generic, borrowing the plot of Revenge of the Nerds. Hearing John Goodman and Billy Crystal back in their classic roles is good fun and there are some strong bonding moments. It’s just hard to ignore that it’s all rather lackadaisical and uninspired. It doesn’t seem to have any heart. This prequel is lacking that emotional connection the original had with Boo and Sully. Its fun seeing Mike and Sully become friends but it all feels rather perfunctory. It’s not terrible by any stretch of the imagination; it’s actually quite good but just not up to Pixar’s standards.

B-

Cindy Prascik’s Review of The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Dearest Blog, last night the Prascik women decided it would be a good idea to rent The Incredible Burt Wonderstone via Xfinity On Demand. The Prascik women's judgment skills may require adjusting.

Spoiler level here will be mild.

Burt Wonderstone (Steve Carrell) and his partner Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi)--once the biggest magic show in Vegas--see their glory fade as more cutting edge acts like Steve Gray (Jim Carrey) vie for the public's attention.

Regular reader(s) will know I seldom pay to see a comedy at the cinema. Reasons include, but are not limited to, the fact that most comedies aren't so grand I need to see them on the big screen, and that so few comedies are actually funny outside the bits that make the trailers. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone gives me no reason to reconsider my stance on seeing comedies at the cinema.

For a so-so movie, Burt Wonderstone boasts a well known and mostly well thought-of cast. I, personally, don't much care for Steve Carell. Occasionally he's funny, but mostly he just annoys me. Wonderstone falls firmly on the annoying side of things, due to the fact that his character is pretty much a total dick. Steve Buscemi does as well as possible, given the material, but I cringe at his even being a part of this, ditto the decorated Alan Arkin and James Gandolfini. Though past his prime, Jim Carrey usually makes me laugh, but this character is so awful that he's uncomfortable to watch. The stunning Olivia Wilde is a welcome addition, even in a flat role that does nothing for her or the movie.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone puts all its comedy eggs in the obnoxiousness basket. Done right, that can be great (think Jack Black in Tropic Thunder), but here it's just...well...obnoxious. The movie does have its laughs, and some of them are good ones, but I spent far less time laughing than I did feeling sorry for the actors involved, and wondering what on Earth James Gandolfini's and Alan Arkin's agents ever thought this script brought to the table for them.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone runs 100 minutes and is rated PG13 for "sexual content, dangerous stunts, a drug-related incident, and language." Trust me when I tell you, dear reader(s), it is far from incredible.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone gets three.

Until next time...


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Me after about 20 minutes of this movie...