MOVIE REVIEW: NAPOLEON

 

A look at the military commander's origins and his swift, ruthless climb to emperor, viewed through the prism of his addictive and often volatile relationship with his wife and one true love, Josephine.

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Joaquin Phoenix, Vanessa Kirby, Edouard Philipponnat, Rupert Everett, Matthew Needham, Cormac Hyde-Corrin, Anna Mawn, Tahar Rahim

Release Date: November 22, 2023

Genre: Action, Adventure, Biography, Drama, History, War

Rated R for strong violence, some grisly images, sexual content and brief language

Runtime: 2h 38m

Ridley Scott's Napoleon is a lavishly crafted historical epic with strong turns from its leads but there's a disconnect from its central subject that keeps it from being a truly compelling film.  Scott's steady hand delivers a series of wonderfully shot moments with his prowess at large scale action on full display here with a collection of carnage filled sequences which are easily the high points of the film.  That shouldn't come as surprise to anyone familiar with the legendary auteur's extensive resume but the film never truly finds its footing whenever its off the battlefield.  In those quieter moments the film tries to balance its central love story and Napoleon's rise to power with varying levels of effectiveness.  The script paints Napoleon as a boorish and clumsy in its deconstruction of the man sometimes to darkly comedic effect. While it avoids some of the more clichéd approaches to its central figure, it also keeps the audience at arms length from his psyche and never granting us a window into his inner machinations.  The script paints him as ambitious but show him falling into power more as a result of others doing than his own drive.  Joaquin Phoenix brings what he can to role with his natural talent but he's mostly asked to stare blankly at people with occasional fits of anger sprinkled throughout.  Phoenix's understated line deliver works in smaller moments but we never get any bigger sequence that makes you believe his troops would follow him to their own ruin, something driven home during a late stage stand off sequence.  Vanessa Kirby fares a bit better as Josephine but script issues keeps her character and ultimately their relationship resonate the way it should.  The film rushes through their meeting and courtship so the audience never gets a true sense of whether its a transaction relationship or one based on actual affection.  There's a tangible sense that Phoenix and Kirby could do so much more with these characters if they'd had a better script to work with since their scenes together feel disjointed.  Its an issue that keeps the film from finding any sort of rhythm which makes the two hour and a half film feel far longer than its actual runtime.  The proposed four hour cut of the film might smooth some of these issues but the theatrical cut of Napoleon is a missed opportunity which stays afloat mostly due to the talent behind and in front of the camera.  

B-

MOVIE REVIEW: HOUSE OF GUCCI

When Patrizia Reggiani, an outsider from humble beginnings, marries into the Gucci family, her unbridled ambition begins to unravel the family legacy and triggers a reckless spiral of betrayal, decadence, revenge -- and ultimately murder.

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Lady Gaga, Adam Driver, Jared Leto, Jeremy Irons, Salma Hayek, Al Pacino, Reeve Carney, Jack Huston

Release Date: November 12, 2021

Genre: Crime, Drama, Thriller

Rated R for language, some sexual content, and brief nudity and violence.

Runtime: 2h 37m

Review:

Ridley Scott's House of Gucci is a massive Shakespearian soap opera that indulges in its opulent excesses to a fault.  Scott's directs his film with a steady hand, delivering a glossy vision of the 80's that uses every cliched song imaginable.  The shots are meticulously constructed which allow you to appreciate the incredibly lavish fashion and art direction on display.  There isn't the usual grittiness typically associated with Scott, here he's clearly going for a very specific look and feel that's reflective of the fashionista royalty on display which fits perfectly for the film.  It should come as no surprise to anyone that Lady Gaga fits perfectly as real life femme fatale Patrizia Reggiani.  Gaga is clearly committed to the role as she channels Lady MacBeth in 80's couture.  It’s a showy role for her, more so than her turn in A Star is Born, and she does well delivering a steely, ferocious turn that works as the anchor of the entire film.  Adam Driver delivers one of his better performances by playing against type and not relying on his masculinity like he usually does.  

Driver is surprisingly believable as Maurizio Gucci who starts out being overly naïve before he becomes more savvy to his wife's machinations in the family business.  Jared Leto's much talked about transformation is cartoonish but in the film it works since the film is populated with performers going big with their characters.  Al Pacino and Jeremy Irons are prime examples of this with each delivering some fun but hammy turns as the Gucci partners.  Jack Huston, Reeve Carney and Salma Hayek round out the cast with more measured turns which flesh out the world.  If this all sounds like a lot, well it is and narratively speaking its overstuffed with Scott cramming 30 years of story into a two and half hour film.  The performances and production make it easy to overlook the fact that there isn't much palpable tension or drama even with all the betrayals and backstabbing going on. 

B

MOVIE REVIEW: THE LAST DUEL

Jean de Carrouges is a respected knight known for his bravery and skill on the battlefield. Jacques Le Gris is a squire whose intelligence and eloquence makes him one of the most admired nobles in court. When Le Gris viciously assaults Carrouges' wife, she steps forward to accuse her attacker, an act of bravery and defiance that puts her life in jeopardy. The ensuing trial by combat, a grueling duel to the death, places the fate of all three in God's hands.

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Matt Damon, Adam Driver, Jodie Comer, Ben Affleck, Harriet Walter, Nathaniel Parker. Alex Lawther

Release Date: 1h 46min

Genre: Action, Drama, History

Rated R for strong violence including sexual assault, sexual content, some graphic nudity, and language

Runtime: 2h 32min

Review:

Ridley Scott's The Last Duel is the type of gritty muddy medieval drama that plays right into his wheelhouse. The Last Duel is a perfect bookend to the director's previous historical epics, Gladiator and The Kingdom of God, with this one focused more intently on the central characters than large scale battle field carnage.  That's not to say the film doesn't deliver a handful of bloody, bone crushing battle sequences including the titular duel but Scott's lens focuses more on the three main characters and their disparate versions of the truth.  Matt Damon and Adam Driver both deliver strong performances but as the film goes on you get the sense that the film would have been better served had they swapped roles.  Driver would have been far more believable as the hard edged brute as opposed to the strikingly handsome rapscallion the film tries incredibly hard to make us believe he is.  Driver is at his best when roles embrace his embodiment of the boorish angry masculinity which would have made him perfect for Jean de Carrouges.  Damon for his part delivers a workman like performance which adds bits of subtly depending on who's telling the story.  Jodie Comer balances both performances with a nuanced take on a character that could have easily fallen into clichéd territory.  Comer gives her a character a strong believable sense of intelligence paired with quiet strength and resolve.  Ben Affleck though maybe having the most fun of all in a supporting role as a debaucherous libertine who sets off the feud between to the two men.  The cast makes the film's lengthy runtime feel far more manageable due to their talents on display.  The Last Duel carries multiple thematic themes and messages, some work while others come off as overly blunt.  That being said the film works more than it doesn't and should please plenty of people looking for more heavy adult drama.

B+

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of All the Money in the World & The Greatest Showman

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas to close out the busy movie week with All the Money in the World and The Greatest Showman.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

First up: All the Money in the World.

Inspired-by-true-events tale of the kidnapping of JP Getty, III, and his mother's desperate attempts to secure his release.

Let's see, dear reader(s), where do we start with this one? Well, I was pretty young at the time of the Getty kidnapping, so I remember enough to have known the outcome, but not enough to say how many liberties are taken along the way in this telling of the story. I'm not sure if being aware of the ending contributed to the movie's seeming rather long and slow, but long and slow it certainly does seem. It's never dull, but I was still pretty happy when it finally cruised to its conclusion. The eldest JP Getty appears, at least from this depiction, to be so loathsome an individual that it hardly would have been a disservice to him to have allowed his portrayal by a sexual predator to remain in the film, though of course it would have been a great disservice to everyone else. The movie suffers no ill effects from hasty re-shoots necessitated by the Kevin Spacey controversy; on the contrary, Christopher Plummer's solid turn as as the cantankerous old billionaire is woven seamlessly into the picture. Charlie Plummer (no relation) is also great as the young victim, but it's Michelle Williams who carries this movie with such extraordinary skill that you'll scarcely be able to take your eyes off her. Mark Wahlberg seems miscast as Getty's right-hand man/security expert (spoiler alert: putting glasses on a guy doesn't actually make him seem smart), but he's a likable enough actor that I didn't mind. As mentioned, the movie is deliberately paced and somewhat overlong, but the the kidnapping and surrounding events are nerve-wracking enough that I doubt anyone could be bored with it. There's a bit of up-close and personal violence/gore that may be a little much for some viewers.

Daniel Pemberton's subdued score and cinematography by the brilliant Dariusz Wolski set an appropriately somber tone for this sad and scary story.

All the Money in the World clocks in at 132 minutes and is rated R for "language, some violence, disturbing images, and brief drug content." I can't say it's something I'd ever watch again, but All the Money in the World is a riveting tale bolstered by exceptional performances.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, All the Money in the World gets six.

Next on the agenda: The Greatest Showman.

A heavily-fictionalized musical account of the rise of PT Barnum.

Yet again I found myself with a bit too much time between flicks yesterday, and happened upon a negative article beating up on The Greatest Showman for its rose-colored-glasses version of Barnum.

It was difficult putting it from my mind once the movie started, but movie's sunny demeanor and lively tunes ultimately won the day.

Hugh Jackman is a treasure unmatched in 2017 Hollywood. Top-notch at acting, singing, and dancing, no picture ever has to make allowances for his weaknesses; he doesn't have any. The Greatest Showman is a lightweight film that doesn't remotely tax his skills, but it's thanks to him the movie is elevated from entertaining-but-forgettable to something special. Zac Efron continues to surprise with each new role, a gifted and eminently watchable young talent. If I was dazzled by Michelle Williams in All the Money in the World, The Greatest Showman was quick to remind me why I usually loathe her; her simpering smiles and silly twirling wear thin very quickly. The "circus" players do a fine job and all seem to be having great fun with their limited screen time, and the remaining supporting cast is peppered with familiar faces that are more than up to what little the film asks of them. La La Land composers Benj Pasek and Justin Paul have again provided tunes lacking any real flair, but The Greatest Showman's musical numbers make an impact with interesting choreography and eye-popping costumes, hair, and makeup, along with Jackman's irrepressible charisma. The story is hokey at times, as many great old-school musicals are, but if this version of PT Barnum is an upgrade from the real deal, the film itself keeps pace with a positive, inclusive tone that is more than welcome at the end of a divisive, difficult year. The Greatest Showman is pure joy onscreen, the very definition of can't-miss cinema.

The Greatest Showman runs a quick 105 minutes and is rated PG for "thematic elements, including a brawl."

The Greatest Showman’s opening number includes the line, "All that was real is left behind," a perfect setup for the most magical bit of movie humbug I've seen all year.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Greatest Showman gets eight and a half.

Fangirl points: Will Swensen! Byron Jennings! Frederic Lehne!

Until next time...

MOVIE REVIEW: ALIEN: COVENANT

Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, members (Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup) of the colony ship Covenant discover what they think to be an uncharted paradise. While there, they meet David (Michael Fassbender), the synthetic survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition. The mysterious world soon turns dark and dangerous when a hostile alien life-form forces the crew into a deadly fight for survival.

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demián Bichir

Release Date: May 19, 2017

Rated R for sci-fi violence, bloody images, language and some sexuality/nudity

Runtime: 2 hr. 2 min.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Drama

Review:

Alien: Covenant is best described as Ridley Scott plays all the hits.  On Prometheus, Scott tried for some headier sci-fi, even if the human decision weren’t, but fans complained about its lack of outright Alien connections.  Publicly, Scott’s been on record as saying he’s heard these complaints and delivered Alien: Covenant.  Fans of the series will find plenty of call back to the original film all the while Scott continues threads from Prometheus.   The film itself looks beautiful, even if the scares never really come since the beats are so familiar.  Katherine Waterston is primed to be the heroine in this entry but she’s never magnetic enough to completely captivate your attention.  Michael Fassbender more than makes up for the slack while playing duel roles.  Fassbender is clearly having a ball throughout and its audience benefit as he’s the most interesting thing on screen during the entire film.  The supporting cast is made up of familiar faces but their clearly just cattle being lead to the slaughter with only Danny McBride leaving an actual impression.  Alien: Covenant is a solid entry into the prequel series that sure to leave plenty of fans happy while others will complain about certain story decision. 

B

Cindy Prascik's Review of Alien: Covenant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to Marquee Cinemas for the latest installment in the Alien franchise, Alien: Covenant.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

Alien life forms are sometimes very dangerous. Who'da guessed??

 

Dear reader(s), in the interest of full and fair disclosure, I'll confide that I don't like the Alien movies...ANY of them. I keep giving them chances because people who like the things that I do seem to love and even revere at least some of them but...welp...let's just say this latest installment finally may have cured me of my need to figure out what I'm missing.

 

If I heeded that old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," this review would be a blank page; however, since I paid the cost of admission expressly for the privilege of writing about the movie, I shall briefly disregard that sage advice to tell you Alien: Covenant sucks so hard. I might say it was worse than Prometheus, except I didn't fall asleep in this one. Maybe I just wasn't tired yesterday, but I'm gonna be generous and concede that point. Katherine Waterston is terrible, all teary eyes and quavering voice; in fact, for a team of scientists and explorers, the minute something goes a little sideways these people lose their s**t faster than the slutty girl in those teen horror flicks. Many of the choices they make are about as stupid, too. Cardinal rules: When in doubt, don't split up and don't have sex. Pretty simple, right? This crew is so dumb it's hard to invest in any of them...more fun to try guessing in what order they'll (deservedly) be picked off. The writing is so predictable I was finishing lines in my head like a movie I'd seen a hundred times. Covenant features some lovely locations and decent effects, but the "horror" is limited to gore and cheap jump scares that you'll see coming a mile out. There's a minor, but weird and unnecessary, reference to a character thinking he's considered untrustworthy for being "a person of faith." That probably got under my skin more than it should have, but it stuck out as one of the most offensively pointless spots on an almost-entirely pointless movie landscape.

 

Alien: Covenant clocks in at 122 minutes and is rated R for "sci-fi violence, bloody images, language, and some sexuality/nudity."

 

With a top-notch cast, mammoth effects, and spectacular sets, it's clear the makers of Alien: Covenant weren't shy about throwing money at the screen; however, in the immortal words of Butthead: "You can't polish a turd, Beavis." Or, as the lady behind me stage-whispered about the halfway point: "This movie stinks." Of a possible nine Weasleys, Alien: Covenant gets one.

 

Fangirl points: Billy Crudup! Country Roads! Dariusz Wolski!

 

Until next time...

Cindy Prascik's Reviews of Sicario & The Martian

 

 

 

 

Dearest Blog: Yesterday it was off to the pictures for a promising pair, Sicario and The Martian.

 

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

 

First on my agenda: Sicario.

 

A tactical specialist for the FBI is recruited for a multi-agency operation targeting a drug kingpin.

 

Dear Reader(s), I was a HUGE fan of the TV series The Bridge, so when I started seeing trailers for Sicario, I thought, "The Bridge on the big screen, with a li'l Josh Brolin stirred in for good measure? SIGN ME UP!" The movie does have its twists, but it definitely includes all the "law vs. cartel" aspects you'd expect, too.

 

To wit: It will surprise exactly no one that a film about running down a cartel boss is not for the faint-hearted. Sicario is brutal, and it does not flinch in its presentation of violence and gore, though torture is mercifully more implied than explicitly shown. It's all about ugliness, with the occasional surprisingly pretty moment. In a world of dirt and shacks, suddenly there's a silhouette framed against a stunning sunset, a frame of breathtaking beauty. Emily Blunt is fantastic in the lead, a competent, confident woman who lands in a situation she doesn't fully understand and can't control. For the second time in as many weeks, Josh Brolin turns up as a vaguely obnoxious guy that you'll kinda like anyway, and Benicio Del Toro all-but steals the show. The proceedings are accompanied by a menacing, magnificent score (composed by Johann Johannsson) that perfectly enhances the movie's tense tone. There are many moving pieces in Sicario, but, at almost an even two hours, it never feels muddled, slow, or long.

 

Sicario clocks in at 121 minutes, and is rated R for "strong violence, grisly images, and language."

I anticipated greatness from Sicario, and I'm pleased to report it exceeded my expectations. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Sicario gets eight.

 

Next up: Ridley Scott's The Martian.

 

A space mishap leaves a presumed-dead astronaut alive and alone on Mars.

 

Box office reports indicate that, if you went to the movies this weekend, you probably saw The Martian. And you loved it, didn't you? Seems everyone did. Well, almost everyone...

 

First, the positives: The Martian is a great story, and very well acted. A strong supporting cast is uniformly solid, but it's essentially up to Matt Damon to ensure you aren't rooting against astronaut Mark Watney's rescue. Damon does a fine job; he's believably smart, funny, and likable, yet also beautifully plays those moments of despair bound to beset a person in his situation. It's worth noting that, for all the movie's meant to be taken seriously, it does not hesitate to get a shirtless Matt Damon onscreen as early and as often as possible. There's a shortage of Sebastian Stan (would you even believe I wrote this if I didn't say it?), but it's nice to see Stan, an excellent actor in his own right, in something worth watching. I'm a long-standing Stan Fan, but outside Marvel projects, I'm pretty sure he hasn't done a decent movie or show since the short-lived NBC series Kings. The Martian's effects are big and sweeping, not in the same universe (see what I did there?) as the visual magnificence of Interstellar, but certainly worth seeing on the big screen. It's played for laughs, but there's also a proper disco-stompin' soundtrack that'll leave you humming ABBA's Waterloo for the next week or so.

 

The negatives? Despite all that, The Martian is pretty boring for pretty frequent and pretty significant stretches. You've no reason to care whether anyone outside of Watney lives or dies. The off-Mars sequences at NASA are actually far more interesting and entertaining than the movie's galactic bread and butter. If we're being honest, I looked at the clock a LOT and was fidgetingly anxious to wrap it up before the movie's halfway point.

 

The Martian runs an excessive 141 minutes, and is rated PG13 for "some strong language, injury images, and brief nudity."

 

It's a good movie, maybe even a great movie, but on the heels of Sicario, 

 

The Martian just didn't feel all that special. 

 

Of a possible nine Weasleys, 

 

The Martian gets six and a half.

 

Until next time...

 

MOVIE REVIEW: THE MARTIAN

During a manned mission to Mars, Astronaut Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is presumed dead after a fierce storm and left behind by his crew. But Watney has survived and finds himself stranded and alone on the hostile planet. With only meager supplies, he must draw upon his ingenuity, wit and spirit to subsist and find a way to signal to Earth that he is alive. Millions of miles away, NASA and a team of international scientists work tirelessly to bring “the Martian” home, while his crewmates concurrently plot a daring, if not impossible, rescue mission. As these stories of incredible bravery unfold, the world comes together to root for Watney’s safe return. Based on a best-selling novel, and helmed by master director Ridley Scott, THE MARTIAN features a star studded cast that includes Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Kate Mara, Michael Pena, Jeff Daniels, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Donald Glover.

Director: Ridley Scott    

Cast: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels, Michael Peña.

Release Date: Oct 02, 2015

Rated PG-13 for Injury Images, Brief Nudity and Some Strong Language    

Runtime: 2 hr. 22 min.    

Genres: Action/Adventure    

Review:

Ridley Scott’s The Martian is a welcome return to form for the acclaimed director.  The film is a visually stunning and thoroughly engaging story of survival.  It’s an impressive achievement since it the type of film that focuses on a single character.  The story can be described as a mixture of Castaway and Gravity sans manufactured sentimentality.  The man at the center of the film is Matt Damon’s Mark Watney.  Damon’s performance is impressive because it steers clear of the typical tropes we’ve seen previously, keeping the performance rational and fresh.  Damon dominates the first half of the film and it’s to the film’s benefit.  The story starts to falter just a bit when it loses focus on Damon and starts throwing a myriad of supporting characters some of which are more distracting than interesting…..Kristin Wiig & Donald Glover immediately come to mind.  I would have preferred more characterization on Watney’s crew which gets the short end of the stick.  Minor quibbles aside; The Martian is a thoroughly enjoyable survival story which earns the most of its 2 hours plus run time.

A-

MOVIE REVIEW: EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS

From acclaimed director Ridley Scott (Gladiator, Prometheus) comes the epic adventure “Exodus: Gods and Kings,” the story of one man’s daring courage to take on the might of an empire. Using state of the art visual effects and 3D immersion, Scott brings new life to the story of the defiant leader Moses (Christian Bale) as he rises up against the Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses (Joel Edgerton), setting 600,000 slaves on a monumental journey of escape from Egypt and its terrifying cycle of deadly plagues.

Director: Ridley Scott     

 Cast: Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton, John Turturro, Sigourney Weaver, Aaron Paul 

Release Date: Dec 12, 2014

Rated PG-13 for violence including battle sequences and intense images     

Runtime: 2 hr. 22 min.    

Genres: Drama    

Review:

Exodus: Gods and Kings is a throwback to the big scale biblical epics from the past.  Ridley Scott brings a sweeping grandeur to the whole thing but it never really gets its footing with any of the characters.  The film clocks in at nearly 2 and half hours, some of which is quite a slog, yet we never really get any real connections to the characters.  Christian Bale is fine as Moses but he doesn’t give the character any heartfelt drive to save his people.  As such Moses comes off as an annoyed nut whose just doing something because he has to.  At lease the script gave Moses a bit more of a tacticians mind as he plots his revolt that will lead to the liberation of the Israelites.  Rames, played by a guy liner-rrific Jole Edgerton, comes off as a bumbling buffoon all the way through.  There’s a little effort to give him a bit more depth but not nearly enough to matter in the long run.  The supporting cast is prestigious but underused and ultimately wasted.  The film’s lack of three dimensional characters is ultimately its biggest downfall.  Ridley Scott created a visual spectacle which is finely produced but it all feels hollow since we really don’t care about any of the characters, not the way we were supposed to at least.

C+

Cindy Prascik's Review of Exodus: Gods and Kings

Dearest Blog, end of the year means burning that unused vacation, so today I found myself at a mid-afternoon screening of Exodus: Gods and Kings.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.
Believing he's been called by God, Moses leads hundreds of thousands of Hebrew slaves out of Egypt.

Dear reader(s), in the interest of full and fair disclosure I'll note that to me the Bible is as real as a Twilight novel. I mean that not to insult anyone's beliefs, but to make it clear that Biblical accuracy or lack thereof is not why I hated this movie. I hated it because, to quote one of my all-time favorite reviews, it is "a lumbering bore."

Much has been made of all the white folks portraying characters who would have been decidedly un-white, and that does make it a bit hard to take the movie seriously. Sigourney Weaver as an Egyptian queen gave me a fit of the giggles that I almost didn't get past, and I'm pretty sure a servant girl was wearing one of Lady Gaga's wigs. Close-ups reveal French manicures on some of the women. (I'm not even kidding.) Accents are all over the place--hell, Christian Bale runs through four or five different ones himself--and the language is too modern to suit the movie's time frame. If Lord of the Rings bought its battle scenes at Wal-Mart, they'd probably look a lot like the ones in Exodus. Much of the CGI is laughably bad; in fact, the whole thing kinda looks like a regional theatre production of Jesus Christ Superstar. And if being bored to tears isn't bad enough, there's a boatload of explicit animal cruelty for your viewing pleasure, and a blustery score that occasionally goes all "NCIS terrorist cue." It's more than a little offensive.

Bale's Moses is an unsympathetic character, who, like Russell Crowe's Noah, comes off as cold-hearted screwball rather than a man agonizing over choices he must make for the greater good. Moses' "brother" turned nemesis Ramses, played by a barely recognizable Joel Edgerton, is a buffoon in enough guyliner for a Motley Crue video. Ben Mendelsohn turning up was a pleasant surprise, but that's about the only good thing I have to say about Exodus.

Exodus: Gods and Kings clocks in at a bloated 150 minutes and is rated PG13 for "violence including battle scenes and intense images."

Of a possible nine Weasleys, Exodus: Gods and Kings gets two. It's a trainwreck.

Until next time...

I am, in fact, too fast for love.

Cindy Prascik's Review of The Counselor

Dearest Blog, despite early whispers of its absurdity, it was with great excitement that I headed to the cinema today to see The Counselor.

Spoiler level here will be mild, nothing you wouldn't know from the trailers.

A lawyer (Michael Fassbender) lands in deep trouble when he attempts to cure his money woes doing business with drug dealers.

So, dear Blog, when I see a film with Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, and Brad Pitt, my thought is "How bad can it be?" Well...........

The Counselor kicks off with an awkward sex scene that sets the tone for the whole film: you just want to laugh, however aware you are that you're not supposed to. The stellar cast isn't to blame for the movie's shortcomings, and, while it could be said they don't save it either, I would suggest it's beyond saving.

All the performances are solid, and Pitt is notably better than the material.

However, twists that aim for shocking reveals land, instead, in a muddled mess. Forget subtle foreshadowing, the movie knocks you over the head with everything.

There are gross-outs aplenty, and I don't just mean the bloody ones you expect in any movie about drug dealers. When I wasn't trying to stifle inappropriate laughter, I was struggling mightily to stay awake.

Now, dear Blog, never let it be said I don't look for the positive. The Counselor takes first prize on an important "all-time" movie list: Best snot rocket ever.

Like, seriously, puts Gimli's "I will be dead before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!" to shame. Readers, I know you look to this blog for the serious skinny on flicks, so there it is.

This weekend, The Counselor is probably in a pretty tight race for "Funniest New Release" with Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, but, unfortunately, only one was an intentional entry.

Of a possible nine Weasleys, The Counselor gets three...AND CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE THOR ALREADY??

Until next time...



You! Yes, you! Fire your agent now!!

MOVIE REVIEW: THE COUNSELOR

Cormac McCarthy provides his first original screenplay with this Ridley Scott-directed thriller starring Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who dabbles in trafficking drugs only to realize just how dangerous a situation he's gotten himself into. Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, and Cameron Diaz head up the rest of the starring cast. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz

Release Date: Oct 25, 2013

Rated R for graphic violence, some grisly images, strong sexual content and language.

Runtime: 1 hr. 57 min.

Genres: Drama, Suspense/Thriller

Review:

A top notch cast with an A list director boosted by a Cormac McCarthy script should be a slam dunk. And for about half of the film’s runtime, filled with whisperings about nefarious doings and ramifications, it kind of confuses you into thinking it might be a quality film. Mainly due to the fact that you don’t know what the hell is actually going. Once the film lays its cards out on the table, it’s fairly pedestrian. The story plays out in a straightforward manner while we’re subjected to long winded discussions all while displaying a noticeable and angry misogynism. The cast delivers fairly solid work with the exemption of Diaz who’s so far out of her league that her performance is nearly laughable. Ridley Scott shoots a nice clean film but the film’s main problem is its story and characters. None of the characters are particularly engaging or interesting. They are just bad people in a bad situation headed towards gloom and destruction. One character in particular is a walking talking metaphor. Its greatest drawback though is its smugness and overbearing self importance. It thinks it’s an important film talking about large important themes but it really isn’t. Instead, its lasting image maybe Cameron Diaz humping a car.

C

[Full Trailer] Prometheus

The full trailer for Prometheus has been released and it’s quite simply amazing.





Additionally we got the Prometheus International Trailer from the UK, a different approach but both equally effective.



and a bit more of the viral marketing being used to sell one of the characters in the film...

Peter Weyland's Viral Talk at TED2023

Viral marketing at it finest….

[Trailer] Prometheus

Trailer for Prometheus is out and the question about whether it’s a prequel for Alien or not seems to be a big yes even though Scott has said that it won’t contain an actual xenomorph.

Either way, this trailer hints at an epic story line with Ridley Scott at the helm set expectations to mile high…..